I’ve been in tears today 4 or 5 times. In fact if anybody says I look awful today I wont be happy - trying to put makeup on whilst crying listening to the news is not easy.
Surely there is worse news than the death of Robbin Williams?
Yes there is but when considering this blog, I have really struggled with inspiration, what can I write about? I really never wanted this to be a list of jobs covered, accolades or even equipment comments, I wanted it to give you, the reader a bit of the inside of me so that when you need a photographer, you can think about your needs, your inspiration and know wether or not my vision or ideals match your requirements. However as soon as I heard this news I knew I had to write something, I was not sure what but I knew I had to.
I have always listed in my personal favourite films ‘Dead Poets Society’, it’s the belief that Robbin’s character instills in his pupils, the self belief, the realisation that this is your life, that you have to do what you believe in, be who you are. No not every pupil in the film “gets it”, nor does everyone “get it” in real life either but this message has always stuck with me and its something that will with stick with me forever.
It’s this message (not only gained from this film obviously) that led to me changing path 10 years ago becoming a photographer. I also try to use the base message as I work: To believe in myself, to photograph the world and create images how I see them. There is a huge pressure on press (agency) photographers nowadays to deliver technically perfect, straight up, straight down, landscape, portrait photographs. The world is not like that, it’s not technically perfect, its full of emotion and belief and this is how I try to portray it. Yes my images are as technically perfect as possible but I will not discard an image if is shows slight movement or even if it’s slightly soft, is the emotion is there, the feeling is there, that is what counts, also most of the time we are seeing this imperfections at such a large scale that when they reach the printed page they are imperceptible (but the emotion is always perceptible).
In the last 8 years i only photographed Robbin once, Happy Feet 2 i think it was and I remember it was not only I that was looking forward to photographing one of our heroes. I would love to tell a story of how he was larger than life, making us laugh but sadly that was not the case, a few of us commented after how disappointed we were, he was a shell of the person we were expecting. Knowing what we know now, with Robbin’s battle with his demons he probably was just the shell, going through the motions. It’s easy to say that but I guess it’s a factor.
So I now have my feelings off my chest and tonight after editing the premiere I will no doubt be sitting down, watching ‘Dead Poets’ and raising a glass to Robin…
O Captain. My Captain….. you will be sorely missed….